Is resilience built on kindness, confidence or bullsh#t?

lawrence giordano
5 min readSep 11, 2023
Photo by Ed Stone on Unsplash

What is resilience really?

Is it being able to pick yourself up after facing adversity? The ability to calm your mind when its spinning out of control? or even the ability to face grief and know that in time you will be OK.

I think it can mean different things, depending on the situation. I have been thinking about it a lot recently and as the title suggests I’m starting to find that its linked to 3 things but before delving into them let’s reflect on the importance of resilience, now more than ever.

We are more connected than ever through technology, but actually we are becoming more disconnected from each other. For social activities we play games on the internet, to go on a date you swipe left, to order your dinner you tap an app, to talk to each other you load up social media and send memes.

Alongside this disconnection we find ourselves in an ever growing selfish, cruel and challenging world, with global pandemics, wars, corrupt politics, social injustices, financial collapses and ever growing pressure for perfection its a tough place to live.

This mix of disconnection, lack of coping skills and dare I say hostile environment leads to some challenges we all have to face, without resilience many turn to coping methods such as addiction, substance abuse, food and even self harm all leading to to potentially catastrophic consequences to our mental health.

Bit doom and gloom, sorry.

But I do believe resilience can help, someone once described me as having a storm in a teacup, It was earlier in my career and I was trying to deal with a data incident, it had legal ramifications for the business and I was flapping, running around trying to fix things, shouting at people and getting generally angry, my boss pulled me aside and said “calm down, your causing the CFO to panic, it’s probably a storm in a teacup, like the rest of the things you find” .. I went ballistic and sent an email saying I'm glad you look good in orange because you will be wearing it for a while whilst in prison..

Anyway, we fixed it, small slap on the wrist for the company and life went on, but for days after I was beating myself up, recalling every detail whilst in bed, boring the…